Grief Works

We are huge fans of Julia Samuel, the work she has done in the charity space, her career and her brilliant books. Grief Works is a must read! She sheds light on lived experiences through a variety of case studies with her counselling patients and also summarises advice in different areas.

You can dip in and out of sections you think are relevant, although a lot of us read it cover to cover. There is a specific section on suicide which starts from page 133, with a case study and Julia's opinions on certain areas from her extensive work in bereavement.

We particularly liked some of her coping mechanisms for dealing with anger, and like a lot of people in this space she is an advocate for exercise but also for laughter saying "Laughter is incompatible with anger: it stops the ruminating that fuels the rage."

Her tone throughout the book is non-judgemental and sheds a light on stories that should be told and the dark realities of grief - exactly what we're about at Suicide&Co. She has dealt with many people who have been bereaved by suicide. Here are some excerpts from the book.

"One of the ways I help those bereaved by suicide is to have them think of it as a 'heart attack of the brain'. We can all understand that physically anyone, whatever their age or fitness, can have a heart attack. Some physical illnesses can be prevented; others cannot. The person who took their own life was not functioning normally: they weren't thinking rationally and their mind attacked them - had a 'heart attack', with the devastating consequence of taking their own life. For me, it helps to remove the blame and shame attached to 'choosing' to take one's own life."

"People talk about 'finding a way of living with' the grief from suicide; as a bereaved mother said to me 'You never "get over it", you "get on with it", and you never "move on" but you "move forward". You start to absorb the intense pain that such a loss brings in its wake and you begin, very, very slowly to accept it."